Every system in this universe works on some authentic and well developed principles and laws. Parenting journey is no exception in this regard. Different parental coaches and trainers have shared different principles of good parenting but following 7 principles of good parenting are very common and result oriented in the journey of effective parenting.
Yours actions are more important than words
You, as a parent, are the main source of inspiration for your child. The actions and activities that you do are of crucial value for your child. Before the improvement of your child, focus on your behavior and attitude because your child is observing you. And keep in mind that your child’s observation is so keen that your qualities- either praiseworthy or condemnable- cannot remain hidden. So, being a parent, improve yourself before your child.
Respect your child and she will respect you in the days to come, if not now, as her understanding grows. Pay attention to your child and she will learn paying attention to you. Remain cool on small quarrels and your child learns calmness. Avoid telling lies and your child will start loving truth. As you sow so shall you reap is quite appropriate in this context.
Showing consistency in following rules
Consistency and symmetry in making, following and applying rules during your parenting journey is one of the major principles of good parenting. Be consistent about your parenting rules and policies in all the conditions.
Some parents do this mistake of showing flexibility when they are happy and rigidity when they are in stress. Wrong message is derived by your child when you do this type of mistake. Non-negotiable rules should be in your family and everyone in the family should be aware of this fact that these rules cannot be changed at any cost in any situation.
Let us understand it by an example.
You make a rule that no one will eat lunch or dinner in her room; all will be together while eating. Don’t compromise on this rule after making it. Your consistent approach will be very helpful for your child to understand and follow your philosophy about value of life.
Be the part of your child’s life
Friends are very important in every person’s life because they are the part of your life. Mostly, they share each and every thing with each other because they consider them very close and important for their life. Following this philosophy, be the friend of your child and she will share each and everything with you which are very supportive for your journey of effective parenting.
Set rules for all family members
Rules help us control our own personality. Your rules should be based on sensibility and wisdom, not on authority and power. Explanation of rules to your child is very effective to make them aligned with your journey of parenting.
Be careful regarding the formation of rule, but be stuck with them after making it.
The most important problem regarding the explanation of rules is over explanation to small children and under explanation to teenagers. Contrary to this, you, as a parent, ought to overexplain the rules to teenagers because they need micro details of your rules to understand the depth and philosophy behind rules. Following such rules will be easy for your child after understanding it.
Sharing details of rules is not beneficial for your younger kids as she does not remember these details. She just needs clear cut instructions to follow because her mind cannot process such details at such little age.
Grow your child’s independence
Journey from guided approach to independence is the ultimate outcome of your parenting process. When your child grows, his mind also grows and she will not follow your all instructions because now she has her own perception about life. Being sensible parent, allow your children to be as early independent as is possible by keeping her security in mind.
In accordance to this, independence to your child teaches her to learn self-direction which is one of the most effective soft skills for success in future.
Some parents misunderstand independence as disobedience or rebelliousness which is not favorable for parenting, especially parenting teenagers.
Don’t give things in place of love
You would have listened to that spoils the child but it is not true. Love showered with wisdom and sensibility energizes your child to an unimaginable extent. Problems arise when you give things, presents and other material things in place of love which is a severe mistake of many parents belonging to this fast age of internet and industry.
I humbly request you that your child does not need toys, presents and money; she needs you, your quality time, your unconditional love and care which you have the capacity to give.
Be flexible in your parenting style
Among the 7 basic principles of good parenting, flexibility in your parenting process is of extreme importance. Don’t compare it by having consistency in your rules. Consistency in following rules is excellent but wherever you can show flexibility, you should because it teaches your child to be a flexible person.
Rigidity in application of rules and flexibility in attitude and thinking makes you and your child successful, happy and great persons which is one of the goals of human life.
In a nutshell
Parenting is a great thing especially in this age of selfishness where everyone is thinking about herself. While parenting your child, these 7 principles of good parenting will help you in the challenging moments.
Wish you happy and successful parenting.
By: Prof Ajmal Dass Jaipal