Parenting skills

Parenting skills

Checklist parenting skills

Encourage your child (Parenting skills)

Strengthen belief of your child’s ability

Help your child selecting right choices

Teach your child self-discipline (Parenting skills)

Honor your child’s emotions

Focus on child’s positive behavior

Teach your child caring needs of others

Avoid shouting or yelling at your child

 Instruct your child to fulfill responsibilities

 Build solid relation with your spouse

 Shun doing those things that your child should do herself

 Help your child developing social skills

 Give your child a sense of security

 Manage your own stress effectively

Parenting skills are the skills which help the parents in order to grow their children in a systematic and superb way. Being skilled parent, you can assist your child in becoming a responsible member of society. Thus your child brings respect, name and fame self-confidence  

If you want to have good parenting skills, you can have it without any doubt. If you want to help your child in becoming a contributing member of society, you must adopt the following parenting skills because these are core and important parenting skills.

Encourage your child (Parenting skills)

Encouraging your child on her any good activity boosts confidence of your child.  If you observe your child doing something you like.  Look how you feel, you should say it to her what you feel.  Judge how your child responds. It is good and brings marvelous results if you foster self- esteem in your child and succeed in building trust between you and your child.

Through this skill your child learns to value who she is and what she does. Dear Parent, in this way you discover and value your child’s developing strengths. As sensible parent, you know the key fact that you are your child’s first and most significant teacher. Your child learns important information about herself from you.

As parent, you must know the reality that your Child’s behavior and belief in her is strongly influenced by your reactions. When you have confidence in your child, it helps her gain self-confidence. The child, who feels good about herself, generally feels good about others, and is easy to be with them. Your child is interested in learning new skills and is better able to handle the challenges of life.

Encouraging results on your child

This parenting skill develops respect for self and others. You as parent, learn to appreciate your child’s ability. It also helps you recognize your child’s efforts despite mistakes in behavior or learning. You can also gain an awareness of your own strengths and abilities.

  • When others praise your child’s good behavior, you feel better about you and your child. Contrary to it you are discouraged about the behavior of your child; you may be ashamed and find it difficult to practice when someone criticizes the behavior of your child.
  • This skill is intended to be a means of recognizing a child’s abilities and value as a person. It is built on the conviction that every person is lovable and capable.
  • Your child can gain benefit from knowing that you are approving her. When your child tries to do something new or to do something for others, you should encourage your child by showing appreciation.
  • You need to look carefully at your child and observe her behavior. By observing and encouraging, you show the child the behavior you value. A perfect time to encourage is when your child begins to do something that you like to see her continue to do.
  • When you help your child identifying her own feelings of effort, accomplishment, and success by encouraging and praising, she feels better and comes to know how much she is important for you. Her love for you is multiplied.
  • When you tell the child that you notice good things she does, she learns to appreciate her own best behavior. The child who is comfortable with herself and feels encouraged has high self-esteem. It is important to be honest, sincere, and specific.
  • Describing before your child what you see and how it makes you feel is beneficial. For instance, you should utter such sentences, “I enjoy watching you learn how to write,” “It’s great to see you how well you are behaving,” “I’m glad to see how much you enjoy painting.

Remember that no matter what a child’s outward behavior may be, encouraging words help your child feel good inside about something she has done or said. By paying heed in this positive way, you can teach your child to feel stimulated.

As parent you must know that encouragement, mutual respect, communication of love, and having fun together are the basic ingredients for a positive relationship between you and your child.

Know that the parents who encourage positive behavior will have children who believe they belong. By contributing, they are responsible for their own behavior, interested in cooperating, and can decide to withdraw from conflict. The emphasis is on accepting children as they are and having faith in them so they come to believe in themselves.

Strengthen belief of your child’s ability

If you observe your child is not doing what you want or is feeling some difficulty in performing, you should tell your child what she can do. Ask her she has ability to do many things; she should first do what she loves to do. Help your child how to develop energy to use ability, if it is necessary.

This skill will help your child to be able to change her unacceptable behavior to acceptable behavior. Through this skill, you can make your child creative minded who can explore the world later.

 By using pleasant, affirmative communication such as “You can try this,” “You can do this,” “You can have this,” “Here is easy job for you,” “Carry on you can perform well,” “Well-done, good try,” you as parent can teach your child to act in appropriate ways.

If your child is changing, you may communicate in such way “I hope you won’t leave your clothes on the floor as you love cleanliness. You will keep your clothes in the basket”. This way will give your child the information positively she needs to do what is expected.

 Your child’s belief on her ability will be strengthened. This skill helps parent set limits on child’s behavior in constructive and appropriate ways. You should avoid using negative words because it reduces your effective influence on your child.

Results of this skill on your child

It enables child to be creative and inquisitive without beyond limitations of protection and reverence for others. It creates a more positive, helpful family atmosphere. Your child is able to cooperate when she knows what is estimated of her.

  • It is marvelous idea to tell your child what she can do by using a firm and friendly talking. You must tell your child what you want her to do and its worth and positive result on you and her.
  • If your child is jumping on the bed, you should use statements like “I think your jumping on the bed is not safe for you. You can play out in the field,” these words must be spoken in a reverent, self-confident and good manner for more effective results.
  • Usually in such cases children cooperate easily, but if your child is having a hard time making the difference, you should speak slowly by making eye contact to get your child’s attention. You are supposed to be clear, firm, and calm in this respect.
  • Your child will cooperate when she observes that you care enough to help her. It is necessary for you to show your child what you expect and to give inspiration, training, or other support. Sometimes, your child appreciates your company. You should involve yourself in playing active games with your child.

Help your child selecting right choices

Being a responsible parent you can help your child in selecting right choice to understand and handle the problem. Your child and you think of two or more reasonable choices. Has your child ever told you the choice? If not you should ask her about her choices and also tell her about your choices in this connection. It is good idea to explain the benefits of choices that will help her in picking the right choice.

 This is a skill to use when child needs help with a decision or plan the solution.  Giving a way to share responsibility with your child about choices can reduce your anxiety about feeling that she must control every situation. The child gains the opportunity to learn personal responsibility and decision making to increase her independence.

There is a fundamental appreciative in applying this skill that the parent must be sure the choices are benign and rational for all parties involved. This means you have to respect your own needs as well as identifying and regarding the child’s needs. Parenting is a responsibility, but with this skill decision making is cooperative and family members strengthen their shared commitment.

The child who learns how to make choices effectively has acquired the skills for responsible decision making all through life. The age and development of the child will have impact how many choices are considered and which ones are appropriate. The complexity of the situation, the ages of the children, and the comfort level of the parents all influence the discussion.

Problem solving skill for your child (Parenting skills)

Through this skill you can solve problems by following ways:

  • Firstly, you are to help your child understand the problem. If you are openly stating the problem, it is the first step to a solution. It is significant to be exact about the problem. Your child will quickly improve many thoughts. Remember that if your child contributes creative ideas, she can become a good problem solver, a cooperative playfellow, and a practical student.
  •  You should take the list of ideas and sort out which ones are realistic and satisfactory to both of you. You must know that your young child will be overcome by too many substitutions. She will be relaxed with shorter list and more actual choices.
  • The parent has the ultimate duty to be assured the choices are benign and realistic. Being flexible and liberal is also a skill for you as parent. You are to carefully think about, why you are saying “no” because it may have negative impact on your child.
  • Keep the choices before your child in an expert way. If there is any sort of harm in your child’s choice, you should not directly oppose.
  • Instead you should give example of someone else that chose the same choice and entangled in trouble which caused a lot of problems for her. In this way, you will see your child herself neglecting her choice.

Teach your child self-discipline

It is essential to have self-discipline for the parents. As a parent, you must be disciplined yourself first and then develop this skill in your child. You are supposed to pay attention to body messages telling you that you are about to lose control. Thinking of ways of positive discipline to control you is marvelous thing.

You are to choose a way and get control of yourself. Being parent, you have to decide how to act with your child. When you develop this great skill in your child, she will learn and manage how to handle her feelings.

 When you as parent, effectively handle your own emotions, you can teach your child to do the same. The way you choose to handle yourself in tense situations to be model way for your child to behave when she is angry or upset.

Self-discipline is something which you need. It is a skill to help you avoid acting cruelly toward your child. By self-discipline before deciding how to act with your child, you can interact with your child in helpful ways, even during stressful moments.

 You are more likely to lose self-discipline and self-confidence if your life is generally traumatic. You must know that family problems, an unhealthy community environment, poverty, and poor health are examples of problems that add to causal stress.

 Your child’s misbehavior may simply be the factor that causes you to lose self-confidence and self-discipline. Accepting responsibility for your schedules is imperative.

Steps you should take for your child

You are supposed to take following steps to take advantage of this superb skill:

  • You should pay attention to body messages telling you that you are about to lose control. Strong emotions change body harmony. Bodies can be like volcanoes in which pressure builds and then explodes. Without self-discipline a blast may occur before you know it.
  • Everyone has some personal signals. It is important to learn your own and pay attention to them. The better you become at recognizing these body messages early, the easier it is to respond effectively in tough situations.
  • You are to think of ways to control yourself. When your body messages send you a warning, having a plan helps you calm down and regain control. Planning of self-discipline ahead can release feelings of being surrounded and lessen spirits of obstruction or feebleness.

 This skill provides you ways to control yourself without leaving the situation and ways to control yourself when you can leave. For example, when you are unable to leave, you can count to eleven, take numerous deep breaths, talk to yourself, and remind yourself that you are satisfactory.

  • Choose a way and get control of yourself. Dissimilar situations command different choices. You have to decide how to act with your child. Once you are ready, you can think about the other skills you have learned and how they could apply to the situation.

This process may help resolve a situation that seems hard to handle on your own or one that requires your child’s cooperation to solve. Sometimes listening to the other person and understanding, how she feels can help you understand that person’s behavior and thus reduce your feelings of anger.

Honor your child’s emotions

As a sensible parent, it is crucial for you to watch and listen to your child. Deliberate the words that label what your child might be feeling.  Ponder over about why your child showing such emotions. Examine your views with your child. Give respect to your child’s emotions.

Through this parenting skill your child will accept and understand her own emotions. Being parent, you should try to understand and accept that your child has a wide variety of emotions. You are to show that you respect child’s emotions.

Your honoring your child’s emotions is a compassion building parenting skill. It helps you acknowledge that everyone has emotions. It helps to talk about these emotions with your child who will listen respectfully. It is a parenting skill to practice giving attention to your child and listening for emotions.

Benefits of this skill on your child (Parenting skills)

Being good parent, you can quench your thirst of knowledge through this parenting skill which will give you following benefits:

  • You can help your child learn to understand the importance of her emotions by using this skill. If you taking time to listen to your child, it does not mean that you agree with her. It is required that you accept your child’s right to have emotions and feelings, even when they are different from yours.
  • It is so because there is a connection between how your child feels and how she behaves, it is important to watch her interacting with others and acting on her own. Sometimes, it is challenge in this skill for you to put aside your own emotions and listen carefully to hear how the child is feeling.
  • It is a reflecting skill. You are to think of yourself as a mirror in order to help your child understand herself and her emotions more clearly. This honoring gives your child the chance to think out loud.
  • It teaches your child to respect herself and to respect the feelings of others. You may find that this skill helps her become more comfortable with and responsible for her own emotions.

As a parent you should follow following points to get favorable result through this parenting skill:

  • You are supposed to watch and listen to your child; and pay attention to the child, her actions and words and body language. Look at the child’s face expressions and listen to the sound of the voice.  Your child’s actions may tell you more than words about how your child feels.
  • You are to look for clues that tell you about her feelings. Suppose, if your child finds excuses not to go to school and says that she has some problems with her health, you should try to judge her words and expression to see either true or fake.
  • You should think of a word that describes what your child might be feeling. Try to find the reasons behind her such feelings and emotions in order to tackle the situation. Give her time to think about the final decision by giving example of other children who took wrong decision and met tragic situations.  
  •  You should think how you felt when something similar happened to you. You may imagine of the way your child handles similar circumstances. You are to remember one thing that every age has its special challenges, and each child deals with growing up in her own distinctive way. This is a skill you use when you notice your child has strong emotions.

Focus on child’s positive behavior

Paying heed to your child’s positive behavior instead of negative behavior is a great skill. It has been observed and you might have observed that the more parent strikes the child, the more her bad behavior gets repeated. So, it means punishment is not the solution to every problem. It is better for you to focus on her positive behavior.

Praise and appreciate her positive behavior so much that she may behave again and again in positive and good manner. If it is possible, it is good idea to give her reward which will motivate her to behave more positively and neglect negative behavior herself.

 Teach your child caring needs of others

As parent, it is your duty to teach your child how to help others at the time of need. For this purpose the best way that you can adopt is that you should yourself start helping the needy and the people who are in grief. You child, observing you, will start herself involving in such helping activities.

Parents are role model for their children and it has been seen that usually the children follow the footstep of their parents. So, you are to be role model for your child and your action must speak lauder than your words. When your child observes that you have got respect, name and fame, she also tries to follow your footstep in order to earn honor, name and celebrity.

Avoid shouting or yelling at your child

You might have evaluated that when someone had shouted at you, it would have negative effect on you and you must have had feeling of hatred for him or her. So, it is clear that you don’t like others to shout or yell at you. In the same way, when you shout or yell at your child, her feelings could be the same which causes dangerous results on both of you.

As parent, you are to use polite language as polite and sweet words can conquer the world. You can conquer your child’s heart by sweet and polite sentences of respect and honor. Your speaking etiquettes win others heart as one is judged by one’s tongue.

Words, that are unspoken, are yours but the words which have been uttered are not yours. Your words have power to make others your foes or friends. So, it has been said that one should think before speaking.    

Instruct your child to fulfill responsibilities

It is good idea to teach your child how to take responsibilities in order to make her responsible. If you succeed in making your child responsible citizen, it will give you true happiness. Her responsible attitude will earn good name and fame in the society.

Build solid relation with your spouse

Your relation with your life partner should be strong because it helps you nurture your child well. If you do not have good relation with your spouse, it will have negative impact on your child. You alone cannot manage well to train your child smoothly. Both of you, as parents, should jointly make efforts in positive growth of your child.

It is duty of both of you to provide pleasant and loving atmosphere to your child. Each of you should show your child that she is very important for you in order to make strong connection with your child. You are to spread love in her path so that her belief on you may strengthen.

Shun doing those things that your child should do herself

Involving your child doing different jobs herself is good thing to train her and develop confidence in your child performing activities. If you do every work for her yourself, your child will not develop belief of doing work herself and as a result, she will be totally dependent on you. In practical life, she may fail in accomplishing her task.

So, you should make your child do her work herself. Appreciate and motivate your child that she can do wonders. You are to praise her work like, you may say, “Well-done! You have done marvelous job. You have potential and very soon you will gain honor, good name and fame in the society.”

Help your child developing social skills

Being sensible parent, you are to develop social skills in your child which will enable her how to live in society. Social skills help your child not only to survive in the society but also to tackle problems which are present in the society.

It is fact that we can’t live alone and we are to live in society. To live in society, we are to respect one another and help one another at the time of crisis. So, you are to enrich your child in social skills which are very essential to breathe in society.

Give your child a sense of security (Parenting skills)

Your child needs security and to provide her security is your responsibility. You were once a child and whenever you felt any danger, you might have rushed to your parents and would have asked them for shelter or solution to that danger. It is your basic duty to give shelter to your child.

Manage your own stress effectively

Stress causes negative effects because if you are in stress, you cannot perform your duty well. Stress generates mental and psychological problems which are difficult to be handled. A man in stress fails to make positive and good decision. So, it is better for you to avoid stress but if you are in stress, it is necessary to manage your stress effectively.

Nutshell

It is not easy to nurture or rear children because it is an uphill task and for this purpose good parenting is required. So, above mentioned parenting skills are fundamental skills that will enable parents to rear their children in excellent and marvelous way.

  There is great Importance of parenting skills in the world. They enable parents in growing their children in superb way. Parenting skills help you nurture your child and handle the problems which come across while bringing up your child. Parenting skills

By: Prof Ajmal Dass Jaipal

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