Signs That Your Parenting Style: according to research, 18% of parents have a permissive parenting style which is included in the bad Parenting style.
Parents are concerned about their parenting style and normally question themselves, are they making the right choices for their children? Children are complete assets of parents; they want to make them honorable people in society.
Parenting is a tough job. Sometimes it is challenging, frustrating, and exhausting, especially when things are not happening your way.
This is impossible to be a cool person all the time but a bad parenting style will damage your child’s life. A lousy parenting style can impact the mental and physical health of your child. He grew up with so many issues and eventually become negative addition to society. So, it is important to have the knowledge, what is bad parenting and how it affects your child. For this reason, many parents ask from experts what are the signs which let you know about worse parenting.
What is bad parenting?
we cannot completely differentiate between good and bad parenting. Although there are some signs which will help you to understand worse parenting.
Neglecting your child, physical and mental abuse are included in ineffective parenting. The negative feedback about your child and repeated criticism destroys his mental health.
According to a 2008 study, early childhood neglect and maltreatment may be as powerful as experiencing child abuse for predicting aggressive behaviors in kids.
The most common mistake, parents normally make is a comparison and to whom they are comparing, unintentionally making them a competitor in your child’s eyes. And that’s how parents make a wrong concept in a child’s mind. If he can beat his competitor, he is successful otherwise he is not.
Another sign of bad parenting is a lack of praise. Learn to praise your child for good deeds so that he feels motivated to do such things. There are so many parents who do not praise their children for their accomplishments and this will demotivate their children.
Signs of poor parenting skills
If you want to know what are the things which cause ineffective parenting skills then there are a few signs which help you to identify them.
Over control on your child
Some parents are Authoritative parents as they try to control everything in their child’s life and want, they would blindly follow them. Parents are authoritative because of two reasons.
They may be over-protective and want their child to make them away from every bad habit. Secondly, they want to control a child’s life instead of his well-being. If their kids give opinions against their decisions, they consider it a shameful act.
Such parents, even though they are very disciplined, their parenting is not effective as they do not allow their children to make choices. Until the child does not make choice how is it possible that he builds his confidence and he can differentiate between right and wrong?
The children of such parents are normally rebellious, and depressive. As they do not have experience of making decisions and creative thinking, they fail when they explore to the world.
Absence of affection and attention
Every child need affection and attention from his parents. There can be many reasons behind not giving proper attention to your child but whatever it is, it will have a negative effect.
A Child needs emotional support and attention in life at many stages. Unaware of important information about your child’s life, his friend circle, and his school activities come under the permissive parenting style, a negative parenting style.
Such behavior causes low self-esteem and poor relationships. They have problems in making decisions. According to Frederick, “many times such behavior can lead to relationships which are abusive”
Punishing your kids may be harmful
Discipline means teaching them how to do things or how to behave. Those parents who punish their children for not fulfilling their orders, actually are coward parents. They even are not able to convince their kids because the behavior is wrong. Punishing may stop negative acts but it cannot teach them to deal with issues.
Such kids may develop a perception to deal with problems in an aggressive way. They think that it is their right to yell at others. Often, such kids have behavior issues in schools too. They are often involved in bullying and yelling in schools because they think it is right.
Secondly, such kids may involve in criminal activity in their adulthood. They do not learn the art of self-regulation. Such children are rebellious and think it is their right to disagree with others’ opinions through yelling.
Lack of discipline
Some parents do not set boundaries in their kid’s life. According to Sharron Frederick, LCSW, a psychotherapist at Clarity Health Solutions, “children who have little or no discipline are left to fend for themselves, which can result in injuries and also creates a child who does not understand boundaries.”
Such kids struggle to know what boundaries are. They often have behavior problems as they do not know their limits and what should they say in a specific situation.
The result of such type of permissive parenting can be a lack of confidence or on the other spectrum it can over-confidence. They cannot regulate balance in their lives.
Yelling at kids, giving punishments for smaller mistakes, and shaming your child in front of others is a worse form of parenting. These kids lose their self-esteem. Whatever you say to your child, it will be embedded in his mind, and eventually, assume himself in that role.
The words are so powerful that whatever you say to your kiddo, he will eventually be that person. Every parent in this universe wants their kid to be successful, so praise their good deeds and avoid saying negative things.
Effects of bad parenting
Ineffective parenting has a deep impact on their child’s life in the long term. Some effects of lousy parenting are
- Anger issues
- Kids are rebellious, yelled at others
- Involved in criminal activities
- Disrespect others
- Have behavioral issues such as obsessive-compulsive disorder
- Find difficulty in running relationships, and often become an abusive partner.
How to avoid bad parenting?
listen to your kids
Listening to your kids is the best possible solution to avoid all issues. We all have feelings and want somebody to listen. On the other hand, if we avoid them, they try to find someone who listens to them. Many kids when they find a lack of attention from their kids, often involve in intimidating relationships which sometimes lead to drastic consequences.
Sit with your kid, listen to him, and be aware yourself what are emotional and financial needs of your kid.
Kids are humans too and they also have feelings. Give them the margin of getting angry, but educate them that yelling is not the right way to show your anger. Provide them with an alternative path to control their feelings.
Do not ignore children
Don’t ignore your kids as this is not the right way. This does not teach your kid just only increases confusion. Tell them why you are getting angry with them.
“If parents want to ‘label,’ they should make sure that they’re labeling behavior, not character,” says Dorfman.
Explain to them the cause of your anger, and also explains to them even if you are not happy with them, you still love them. Don’t pose to them that your love is conditional.
Become a self-reflective parent
Parenting is the toughest job; it is not easy especially when kids are not successful. Our parents are more concerned to have outcomes rather to know the deep issue.
Punishing a child for negative behavior is an example of such parenting. Rather to know the root cause they are more interested to give them a slap and make them quiet.
You have often seen many parents who disown their kids when they are not in the way they want them to be. They simply said they do not accept them as their kids.
Become a reflective parent, if your kid has an anger issue try to find out the root cause. How many times did you sit with them and asked the reason for their behavior? If they are disrespectful, did you ask them politely why are you doing this, my daughter or son?
How many times, do you think it can be possible that your parenting style is not working out? The fault can be in your way of upbringing.
Parents-Kids relationships are just like others relations. How is it possible to whom you are not giving respect, are respectful your way?
Takeaway (Signs That Your Parenting Style)
The child’s success or failure in professional life does not define good parenting skills. Sometimes, the child has a terrible experience with parenting but he is successful in his life. On the other hand, some children have been blessed with such great parents but they are not as successful in their life as they should be. Think about before becoming a judgmental.
Be kinds to others and towards yourself also. If you find your parenting style is not good then change it. This is not too late and let your kids the margin of making mistakes. They learn from mistakes and grow up a better person.
by Rida Fatima