Regarding children’s upbringing and nurturing, commonly used sentences and things parents say to their kids are, “They are our future”, “They are our asset”, “Our life is for our children” etc. But in deliberately, for our children, we use some things-sentences and phrases which may spoil the life of our beloved children.
One by one, we shall discuss these sentences and things parents should never say to their kids.
Whatever you want to do, you can
In these days, so many untrained motivational speakers are injecting this belief in people especially in children that you can do everything. Reality is that a person can do one, two, or three tasks properly, not all.
Some parents also say to their children that you can do everything. Nothing is impossible for you. So, children, having a lot of exposure to television and social media, start considering themselves as super stars and think that they can do everything but results prove contrary in the upcoming phase of life.
We‘ll have to understand this reality that every child is not Bill Gates, Imran khan, Edhi, Malala yousaf Zai or Arfa Karim. If some conditions are given to fifty children, some will do exceptional, while others will be average. History also shows that some are leaders while others are followers. So, saying this sentence “whatever you want to do, you can” can spoil your child’s future.
Resultantly, such over motivational things parents should never say to their kids which may take them into some ideal world.
No negativity about yourself
Because they follow you and you are the role model for your children. If you say that you are not a successful and happy person; chances are that your child will start absorbing the Negativity. She will repeat such type of sentences. Its solution is that you should utter such sentences that are full of optimism, hope and positivity. Both negativity and positivity are contagious; so be careful in the selection of words.
Don’t commit this mistake next time
While children are training, some parents say that you should not commit this mistake next time. We are human beings and can commit mistakes next time also. If a child commits the same mistake, he will be fearful in expressing that thing and can tell a lie which is the start of evils.
Another thing should also be kept in mind while rearing children that committing mistakes is in human essence. But, if your child commits the same mistakes again and again, she can be guided regarding the process of habit formation.
Being parent, you can also guide your child to change the habits step by step. By using this strategy, your child will grow into a fearless and confident personality which is the desired goal of effective and positive parenting.
You are selfish
You, as a parent, sometimes, label your child as a selfish person; but, keep in mind that labeling your child “selfish” can distort your child’s personality. As a parent, you should accept this reality that everyone is selfish to some extent.
Instead of labeling her personality, say her that this particular habit of yours reflects selfishness to some extent.
Your child should be handled in such a way that she should feel that she is great but that particular habit ought to be eliminated at any cost.
Do this and your child’s genius will come out.
When your child wants to express her feelings and you as a parent interrupt and snub her during her expression, you, subconsciously, are giving the message that your emotions are not important to express.
Support her expressing her emotions in the best possible way. This single most thing will help her managing her own emotions and of those who are in relationship with her.
What’s wrong with you?
As a parent, during the moments of frustration, to your child, when you say, “what’s wrong with you?” she start doubting her own personality and habits. Next time, she tries to hide her real feelings and becomes showy and ostentatious which is more harmful and hinders the process of effective parenting.
You should be ashamed
From time to time, your child naturally feels ashamed on her mistakes and wrong behavior but it should not be because of you.
Your child should be encouraged, supported and empowered by your personality in a positive way. Through your positive attitude, she would realize that what is right and what is wrong; and she feels abashed while making some mistake.
In such a situation, she should be given the chance of self-assessment which has lifelong effect on her personality.
If I were you, I wouldn’t do that
Among the dangerous things parents should never say to their kids is if I were you, I wouldn’t do that because it teaches comparison to your child. Comparison and competition are thieves of joy and are cancers of this modern society unknowingly. That’s why, such harmful things parents should never say to their kids.
Would that you had not been born
Not matter how much angry you are, don’t go to say that would that you had not been born because this thing can throw her in the ocean of inferiority complex and shame.
She would not feel better about herself because she is being disrespected in her own house.
Your siblings are better
This phrase is the most dangerous among those things parents should never say to their kids that your siblings are better than you.
This thing produces sibling rivalry which is common thing during child rearing but can be dangerous when promoted at extreme level by the parents. Comparison among siblings is not justified because it promotes rivalry and enmity which is the basis of many problems of family life.
In a nutshell
“10 things parents should never say to their kids” is one of the best articles having the power to change your parenting style to an unimaginable extent as you come up to the level of your child and start touching her feelings. Regarding parenting, touching the heart of your child is the toughest job for you as a parent because mostly parents don’t come to the level of kids.
Dear parent, avoid saying these things to your child and experience the magical improvements in your parenting style.
Wish you happy and successful parenting.
By: Prof Ajmal Dass Jaipal