Parent Child Communication
Communication of the parents plays a vital role in the child’s development and polishes their skills. Basically, it is only the way of interaction of parents with the children that is probably possible throughout the communication. Tone, words, love and care, all things are the source of the conveying parent’s message to the children. Parents are the role models of their children.
Children learn many things along with communication skills from their parents. Good parenting style and communication matter a lot in the child’s life. To build positive relationship with children is not only fundamental but also supportive in facing many hurdles and challenges of the children.
Moreover, effective parent child communication is essential in shaping their feelings and emotions and well- being and teaches that how to treat and build relationships with others in life.
For more details about parent child communication, this article is valuable for you.
In this article, you will learn about:
- Importance of communication in parent child relationship
- What are the types of communication?
- Strategies of effective communication of parents
- Basic principles of good parent child communication
- Tips for improving parent children communication
- Parent child communication: Dos & don’ts
Importance of communication in parent child relationship
Communication is considered most important and is essential thing to build a healthy relationship of parents with the children. It helps parents to understand their children’s needs, desires and feelings. Due to effective communication, it is easy for parents to build up a trusted, respected and mutual understanding based relationship with their children.
Effective communication makes parents cooperative and responsive of every minor need of the child. When parents listen to their child’s needs and wishes through active listening, it allows parents to understand the child in the best way. These things make a trusted relationship between the parents and the child.
Communication is the key to building a trustworthy and strong relationship of parents with the children. It is useful in creating a peaceful and positive environment of the families. It is possible at that time when families talk to each member honestly and openly. As a result, children feel safe and secure and they express their ideas, emotions and feelings in front of their parents.
These things create children’s self- worth and respect, and guide them to develop their abilities and skills for the betterment of the society.
What are the types of communication?
Verbal and non- verbal communication are the ways which are used to communicate with others. Without using these types, it’s hard to convey and receive any message. There are mainly two types of communication.
- Verbal (communication in the form of words)
- Non- verbal (without using words, just postures and gestures are used)
This table will help you to understand these two types of communication and its importance in the relationship.
| Verbal communication | It is the first and most crucial way of communication where words and particular languages are used to convey message. Pitch of voice, tone and dialects are used in the verbal communication. Verbal communication is the best way to share information, emotions and feelings between two or more people. |
| Non- verbal communication | It is produced both intentionally & unintentionally. It is completely different from verbal communication. It is the best way to exchange and convey information without using words. Body languages, eye contact, hand gestures and facial expressions are included in this type of communication. |
When we interact with others, we use verbal and non-verbal cues to convey and receive message. But, verbal communication is not used too much in conversation. Non- verbal communication matters a lot to receive and give message.
According to the research, in any conversation we use more or less 80% non-verbal communication. Just 20% we use words or spoken language. Through non- verbal communication, we can express ideas, feelings and thoughts clearly and effectively.
Strategies of effective communication for parents
Strategy is a careful plan or method of doing something. Strategies are made for you to understand how to treat with the children. Following some strategies are very helpful for effective parent child communication:
- Active listening
- Validation
- Empathy
- Open and honest communication
- Positive reinforcement
Active listening
It is the first and most important strategy to build a strong relationship between children and parents. Giving full attention to the children while they are speaking and you are listening to them attentively boosts their confidence. Active listening makes children feel that they are valued, respected and loved by their parents.
When parents listen to them without interpretation and judgment, children feel well and they openly share ideas and opinions with them without any hesitation and fear.
Active listening is the key to building a strong relationship of parents with children. Parents who have supportive, caring, empathic qualities easily provide the serene environment to their children. They also provide a space for children to express their thoughts and emotions. Through active listening, parents can easily understand the basic needs of their children and make their relationship supportive and trusted.
Validation
Validation is another crucial element of the child- parent communication. It helps a lot to accept and agree the feelings, thoughts and ideas of the children where the focus of parents is not criticism and judgment. Validation provides the children emotional regulation and makes them stronger. It helps to become children more supportive, loved and understood for their family and others.
For example: When your child takes good marks in the class test or exams, and you appreciate him. When you say to him, “I am proud of you for this success.” This thing shows that you value and respect his efforts and appreciate his success. Such things make him hard working person and satisfied.
In validation, accepting, agreeing and acknowledging the child’s strength and success are also included. It is the best example of validation elevating the level of child- parent communication.
Empathy
Empathy is the crucial part of the child- parent communication. In this strategy, interest, understanding and sharing experiences play a vital role in the effective communication and make good relationship with the children.
Through active listening, you can enhance the empathy of the children’s feelings and experiences. But, it is possible at that time when you listen to the children with full interest and attention. In this way, parents can improve understanding level with the children and know about their feelings. This thing reduces the gap between child and parent communication.
Open and honest communication
To keep good relationship with the child is a compulsory factor and it’s possible at that time when parents create a comfortable and peaceful environment to express their child’s feelings and ideas completely. You can promote open and honest communication with the child to create a peaceful environment to express themselves.
You can boost your child’s confidence by talking with her regularly and making for her such an atmosphere where they don’t feel hesitation to share their inner emotions and thoughts. You should treat well and teach them ethics and good manners to see that behavior which you want for your children.
By asking open ended questions from the child, parents can encourage their children’s expressions. Honesty is the second key to maintain a good relationship with the children. Parents should hear the truth and accept it even if it’s hard to listen. Honesty can make deeper relationship between the children and the parent.
Positive reinforcement
To appreciate and motivate children’s positive behavior are involved in the positive reinforcement of the parents. It is the best and effective way to encourage the children’s positive reinforcement in the form of rewarding and acknowledging their experience.
Basic principles of parent child communication
There are many parents who don’t have good relationship with their children. Misunderstanding, lack of communication and short time are also the part of stressful or depressed relationship. Due to these things, depression and suicide cases happen and both sides are damaged completely. To build a strong and healthy relationship, some basic principles are necessary to follow.
For your help, these are some basic principles of parent child communication which are as follows:
| Effective communication | To build relationship with others, we give a lot of importance, interest and time to understand each other completely. It is the main responsibility of the parents to take care and spend quality time with their children. Through effective communication, parents can make a healthy and better understanding with children. |
| Adapt yourself | Don’t try to understand your children with your method or advice. Don’t force your children to follow yourself in every situation and in every step of life. Furthermore, parents should understand the needs and the desires of children with the passage of time. To change themselves and to improve the understanding with their children, parents can build a stronger relationship which is very essential. |
| Grow with your child | Good parents are ready to change themselves according to the growing stages and conditions with the children. When you grow up and provide guidelines about most important things in life, your children feel safe and secure and avoid taking bad decisions. Effective communication makes your children confident and great leaders for the society. |
| Give space | Giving space is the crucial thing to build any relationship. Same as other relations, parents should also give a particular space to their children. They don’t need to always give advice and instructions. For giving better space, parents should give the right of taking decisions to the children. Decisions matter a lot to make or break your further life. Good decisions lead you to success, while wrong ones destroy your career. |
| Establish ground rules | Rules ensure the safety and security of a person and maintain a healthy relationship. No doubt, it’s hard to follow many rules at the same time, so parents need to make some basic rules to help child’s development and habits or behavior. But, it doesn’t mean that parents make too many rules for their children that they may feel much difficulty to follow. |
| Give respect | Respect is the most important factor in any relationship. It is one of the strongest pillars, as without pillars a building cannot stand for a long time. Many parents think that they deal others with good behavior, respect and love. But, unfortunately they don’t think in this way about their children. When they don’t give importance and respect to their children, as a result children don’t provide respect and importance to their advices and instructions. |
| Be there for the other person | Parents need to handle any critical and tough situation of the children wisely and keep patience. Don’t be fed up and blame others. When parents try to understand their children’s difficulties and conditions, they become good parents. Consequently, children start understanding their parents’ situations and circumstances. They are supportive and cooperative, caring and loving for each other. They understand better and build healthy and strong relations with their children. |
Tips for improving parent child communication
Tips are beneficial for you to keep and maintain healthy relationship between children and parent. Tips are essential for the development of both- social and personal life of children.
Listen more than you talk
| Many people are boring, as they are chatty. They don’t give time for speaking to others. It is crucial for good parents that they attentively and carefully listen to their children’s problems instead of giving advices. By doing so, parents can avoid arguments and explanation. |
| Read books |
| Books are the good companion of man. They are the source of knowledge and to know many things and problems within a short time. As a parent, you should read books to treat well with the children. Many books provide useful tips and strategies to improve parent- child communication. By reading books with your children, you can improve your understanding to a greater extent. |
| Reveal your feelings |
| It is most important to reveal your feelings in front of your children. This thing helps you to make relationship with the children honestly and openly. You need to ensure to your children that you are always with your children and support them to become good persons of society. Tell your children that if you are unhappy in the case of divorce and separation, it also affects yourself badly. |
| Active listening |
| As a parent, you should teach the children that how they can listen to other people’s conversation through active listening. To engage other people in conversation, asking questions is an effective way. Nod head, hand gestures, eye contact and smiling face are also included to listen to others actively. |
| Clear and respectful communication |
| It is the responsibility of good parents that they teach ethics and good manners to their children. Teach your children to express themselves with respect and clear communication. They shouldn’t be critic and argumentative to others. |
| Non- verbal communication |
Your child should know that how to use nonverbal communication in parent child communication.
| Problem- solving and negotiation |
| Problem –solving and negotiation skills are crucial for the development and well- being of the children. You should train your children to apply brain storming solutions to solve any problem. |
| Use of visual aids |
| Verbal and non- verbal communication are essential for affecting communication and it also helps to build a good relationship. Visual aids are the keys to recognize the ideas and expressions of the children. Drawing and painting are also involved into the visual aids. Because, human mind saves those visual things which are in the form of drawing and picturing. |
| Asking open ended questions |
| It is the duty of the parents to prepare their children to give response to other in a detailed manner instead of saying two or three words in the response. To encourage and teach those about the accurate and exact answer, details and explanations are necessary factors. Due to this, children go beyond the very simple answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. |
| Taking turns |
| Taking turns in the communication process is good for teaching children about manners and ethics. It allows children to listen to others carefully and actively. Taking turns is also the key to effective communication. It allows children to listen to people without interrupting and wait other people’s conversation ended. |
| Role playing |
| It helps a lot to engage children to play role in any hard and tough situation in their life. It can boost the confidence of the children and polish the skills through practice of effective communication ability. |
| Respect boundaries |
| Boundaries are the main part to give respect to others in any relationship. It helps people to keep themselves into a specific boundary maintaining a better relationship. Don’t force your children to share privacy. Don’t interfere in every matter of the children. Respect boundaries and try to understand each other and build a stronger relationship. |
| Be positive |
| Try to remain positive in all those difficult matters where you feel tension and nervous. Children follow their parents in any condition. Parents should guide them to be confident. It helps children not only in being confident but also in polishing themselves to take good decisions in the life. |
Dos- don’ts of parent child communication
Parents face many challenges to grow up their children. Connection is crucial to build a healthy relationship between the children and the parent. Good parents fulfill the needs of their children. They never prefer their needs to their children. Good parents also plan their children’s success and help them a lot to set goals.
Now, let us discuss dos and don’ts of parent child communication in detail:
Dos for healthy parent child communication and relationship
To make children obedient and respectful, build connection with them. Parents should focus some things and do them in a skillful manner.
- First of all, children need to understand and speak their mother tongue fluently. If they cannot understand them well, they will not be able to communicate properly.
- It is the responsibility of parents that they don’t interfere their personal life and privacy of their children.
- Respect and make boundaries to protect each other in relationship of parent-child communication.
- Train your children to control feelings especially anger and sadness.
- Be clear and accurate.
- As a parent, you should teach your children to give respect to others regardless of color, race, gender and social class or status.
- Be honest and truthful with the children.
- Value your children’s feelings and emotions towards the situation and person and don’t try to prove your children wrong.
- Parents should also accept their own mistakes instead of blaming others.
- It is an essential factor to make your child responsible by assigning small tasks in the daily routine work.
- Show your love verbally and non- verbally to the children. For appreciation of the children, give rewards and prizes to them.
- Don’t be late to set goals and make decisions of life. Set goals and work according to them.
- Be positive. Positive attention, care and genuine feelings are necessary to make a healthy relationship supporting parent child communication.
- Encourage and appreciate your children. Parents need to go and attend the ceremony especially when their own children are the participants.
- Be specific for all those tasks which are assigned to you being a parent.
- Share the good things with your children.
- Be available and give much time to your children.
- Children should be given the courage to share bad news in front of the parents.
- When you want to teach moral values and principles to the children, wait for the exact time.
- It is good to always fulfil your commitments and promises.
- The most important things for the development of the children are love, care and respect from their parents. Because of these things, they grow well and polish their skills.
- If you want to see change in the children, as a parent you should understand that your children learn more by observing things than listening.
- You can avoid being toxic parents if you follow these guidelines.
Don’tsfor healthy parent child communication and relationship
- Don’t force your children to speak that language which they don’t completely understand.
- Don’t use big words and acronyms to talk your child.
- Stamping child with different names harms the emotional state of child.
- To share only negative information can also damage the relationship with your child.
- Don’t be over sharer of personal based information.
- Don’t blame your children. Try to accept you own mistakes also.
- Avoid telling bad news to the families.
- Don’t abuse the children.
- Don’t disrespect the emotions of the children.
- Don’t be critic and judgmental to your children.
- Response only when the family asks something it’s not good idea. You need to be proactive.
- Never compare your child with others. Child can feel jealousy.
- You shouldn’t expect your families that they share everything with you.
- Parents should not just advise the children. They should demonstrate the good things in front of the children.
- Avoid damaging your children’s feelings, ideas and opinions.
- Don’t make too many choices and options in front of the children.
- As a parent, avoid to punish your children in front of others.
- Don’t scream or yell on your children when they make any mistake.
- Don’t be too rigid and accept mistakes.
